daunting solitude

new everything. new language. new culture. new people. new transportation. new weather. new food. new .. you name it. to stay sane i've been spending quite a bit of time by myself with God. which can be as intimidating and scary as forging ahead into this newness. because there are all sorts of truths to discover about myself, my habits, my desires, my addictions, my needs -- and what i think are the above, and what they were meant to be. a friend emailed this quote to me and it gives me hope for the journey still ahead of me.

"in solitude we can slowly unmask the illusion of our possessiveness and discover in the center of our own self that we are not what we can conquer, but what is given to us. in solitude we can listen to the voice of him who spoke to us before we could speak a word, who healed us before we could make any gesture to help, who set us free long before we could free others, and who loved us long before we could give love to anyone. it is in this solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the result of our efforts. in solitude we discover that our life is not a possession to be defended, but a gift to be shared." -- henri nouwen in 'out of solitude'